Why do birds suddenly appear
Every time you are near?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.
Why do stars fall down from the sky
Every time you walk by?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.
On the day that you were born
The angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold
And starlight in your eyes of blue.
- The Carpenters
we shall go out
with alicia
and and
well.
yeah
just kickboxing
yay!
iloveyoutoo
happy my chunk of text helped you
hahha
i just wish we were all back together again
just like when roses were red and violets were blue
and oh how we felt the breeze in our hair
and the sun on our cheeks
and our feet flying past
i just wish we could share with each other again
smiles on our faces
laughs ringing in our ears
how we would cry together
exchange naughty winks
discuss upcoming outings
but all these
like a shadow they have flitted away
is it so hard then
after the higher authorities have separated us
that we may not be once again like
sparrows chirping hello
and we must stick close to our new company
forgetting what once had been true
but has now dwindled to nothing
nothing
nothing
nothing
nothing
.
nothing?
love,jean<3
let your heart out.
just that...i cant seem to change anything no matter how hard i try. almost everytime i get a little break, something comes hurdling at me again. i cant dodge reality. ah but i'll continue to try, try till i see the brighter side of life? hahaha thanks jean and everyone else who were there, for just being there. you dont have to say anything, but your presense is enough.
oh yaay! kickboxing? oh mann that sounds awesome:D set the day and i'll be there, nothing can stop me:) and yes i do think i need to go out, my social life is negative two hundred now, so is my wardrobe. if anyone wants to go shopping for clothes, feel free to call me along!
sometimes i feel like im all alone again, like no one's there, the same emptiness all over again. not the physical kind of 'being there'. but some kind if spiritual..thingy?
we should definitely hang out more:) the new year brings along some baggage from the past but also some rather pleasant changes.
last line: LETS GO OUT!
let your heart out.
well
i dont know either
hahha
and
i wasnt really directing it at you la,
just.telling you what i think
i want to go out with you guys soon too.
pity i didnt go yesterday.
hope i didnt sound too selfish in the previous post though,
i hope you re fine
and im supposed to empathise with you
not like say what i said in the previous post
so
okay
i trust that you have stopped cutting
how bout
one day soon lets go kickboxing with alicia?
she said yes alr
!
so we can just box that sack of shit for two hours without stopping
and get all the sadness and irritation and depression out.
...
but i know depression makes you feel like you dont want to get it out of your system right
you just want to wallow in it and
and be sad
its kindof addictive
its like sian if you try to be happy.
which was what it was like for me too,
which was why i was in such a pitiful state for such a long time \:
thats why i think you might have to do sth
like exercise
to get it out
but
i know i probably dont sound like i understand,do i.
its actually all up to you,how you want to handle the situation,
whether you want to stay here and think about all the bad things
that are past already or are occurring at the moment
or concentrate on the good points and try to improve all that is around you
and yourself before that,duhh, .
and maybe you ve already gone and done all that but
its no use.
so
you ve just got to tell yourself
that you have to live with it.
live with the fact that whatever is disturbing you is there
you cant do anything about it
and that it is actually a part of your experience
in life
and some kind of obstacle at that,yes.
so try
try and take in your stride
or detour
think
and detour what has been blinding you for so long
even if you do not know what lies ahead
just go ahead
walk around it
like i did
and that was only once for me anyway
and i know that there will be more for me to come in the future
and for you as well
so brace up for the tough ride
(like we havent)
and shoot through
what you do is for yourself
(not selfishly of course)
as in
dont let people take advantage of you
because you are the only person who can control your movements and your thoughts
dont let someone else do it for you
follow yourself
dont let others affect you so much to this point in time
where you become an emotional wreck
dont become like my previous self
try and get over it
so yes
love you loads(:
this chunk of text may not do you any good,but well
read it and think yes.?
love,
<3
jean
keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground.
<3
let your heart out.
what can i say? what can i say? im sorry, but apologising doesnt help. maybe you'll feel better if i tell you i stopped, i really did. check it yourself. even the scars have faded, somewhat. jean...i know its supremely weak. i know its pathetic, especially that i was against it in the first place. what can i say? irony.
i admitted, i was going through a rough patch earlier. mental problems? yeah i think i have them. like so numb nothing hurts anymore. nothing can take away the emptiness. all you want is just to feel, to feel anything, pain so be it. at least pain is a better replacement than nothing. you might understand, i need the pain, it keeps me alive, emotionally.
im sorry. and thats all i can say.
let your heart out.
i havent really talked to you for a while hahhah
i dont care what choir is doing to me
as in i am not supposed to feel emotionally demoralised and all
sickening sometimes
aiyahh
actually
im not depressed anymore
i dont wanna cry for some fucking big but trivial shit problems
that half of cca arent freaking aware of
what kinda shit
so you re depressed?
well
i hope you ll be fine soon yes
can you please dont be with the person who gave jasmine that bump on her head please
i mean
nvm
ahhaa
im not in any position to order you arnd anyway
i dunno
but well
lets do it tgt
get through
i trust that you are not mutilating yourself?
because if you do you are disappointing me
because you were the one who told me noto to do it in the first place
who wrote letters to me
talked to me about it
and helped me through it
and now you have done it yourself
why did you have to be so
so influential
so easily impressed upon?
dont follow the crowd,miss.
follow your heart.
actually
why in the first place do people get so depressed
reasons:
1.they really have problems
2.they have mental problems
3.they like being depressed because they want people to notice them
4.they have low self esteem ie inferiority complex
which has thus led to mutilation and tears and other notions of that sort
you know
i think back of when i was the one who was doing it
and er
laugh?
because
it was so STUPID
i think i was seriously ruffled up at the time
what exactly
could have reduced me to such a pitiful emotional wreck
but
life i guess
its just another stepping stone in life.
like when we are young ,small,
we get angry a t the most trivial situations
and
we grow very slowly,at a constant pace.
but i think
as we grow older,
we learn more and more from experience
and every step we take is a bigger one
a more difficult one
so that is why
if you have a lot of experience alr
and you look at the problems your little sister has
and stuff
you should try to understand their dilemma
and help them
not laugh at them and brush away their cries for tiny stupid matters
they hurt like we do when we face a situation that daunts us
eeh
why am i typing all this
but anws
love,
<3
jean.
learn to stand up for yourself
let your heart out.