letting go of all ive held on to--*

2007-06-04T04:59:00.000-07:00

thankyou

sorry

so long

goodbye

<3 maybe a millenium later i ll walk with you on the highway,
rain drenched and jubilant

maybe i ll runaway with you
at night
because my dads gone mad
but then again
my dad is my dad
even if i dont love him
im still his daughter
and i dont call my dad a dickhead at least
so i dont think i will anyway
haha

sorry s all my fault
right?
me for running away from you
for my own reasons
dont think you know how i feel
think you must think im freakish
just poom disappear without any explanation
sorry
but if i explain
i thought you read my blog
i think?
i didnt reply you
because i didnt want to
because i didnt want to be stuck to you again
i want to stand up
when the stars are trying to get me down
and the waves are trying to drown me
i just have to stand up through the rain
you know
deal
with everything
which is why i dont have any hol hw left to do
feel stuck though
how stuffy can my damn hell room get
its irritating and frustrating but its worth it
haha
dont think you still come here right
i still reread it
i read pys blog and
im not sure if its the same post you read but i agree
those times when i didnt go with you
i went to find jasmine and friends
and well
you know
i kindof did cry a tad bit
no a lot actually
whats the point of telling you this
i dont want you to ask me anything
i dont think you ll ever return
so
you should just yeah,
keep it up
go on
heighten your status
enhance your physical appearance
really
whatever

im ignoring it, cross my heart and hope to die

i cant scold you alright
ive done it once before
and its not like im your mummy dearest
either

andim not in any position too

im working towards being the best person i can be

and im proud of my efforts

haha

i dunno what youd think

so good bye
so long
farewell
seeyousoon.

jean.

2007-03-16T00:42:00.000-07:00

i know, i'm sorry, and i'm really confused too.
it was a horrid and childish thing to do. i was looking for an opening, and there it was right in front of me.
i tried to improve myself, but it seems that when i take one step forward, i have to take another step back. stuck, trapped, surrounded, engulfed.
you guys will always be my friends okay, and nothing anyone say could affect our friendship. well for chloe it's a little different, but i'm okay with her now. i realise that for some friends, we need to keep a distance between us, or else it would sour. take for example eunice, she's okay now:)
if i'm the reason behind your nightmares, please tell me what i can do to chase them away.
my violence trait seems to be getting worst, and the smallest incidents trigger me. i dont know what to do with myself. i used to live for the future, cause always carried the hope that it will be better, i could look forward to happiness. but that dream falls apart so easily, and i see the lies that bound it tight. something within me tells me not to give up on myself, but i think i've already had.
oh my i think i need to see a psychologist, but everytime i want to broach the topic to my parents, i back down again. i can't forgive them and the insecurities of so many things...the questions fired, i have no answer.

would life get better?
what if things end up worst?
what should i do?
what could i do?
will it work?
what would happen?
should i just...

paranoid, i share that too. kris tells me not to be so paranoid or people would be irritated. cause most of the time i'm worried that people would hate me and i keep complaining to her. gosh and i whine a lot, which suck. i do not want to whine, it's so disgusting.

sorry for everything i did that hurt you, disturbed you, worried you.
i drive myself crazy and i dont know why?
the cause
the effect
the reason behind it all
how?

all these just made me realise that we are all alone, when we have to solve an identity crisis, ro something that you can't let go.

i'm reminded of a book i read, it was very good, and i wish i bought it. the title was 'the onion girl'
i quoted a bit of it in my blog, and everything about the book just feels so right, as if it was written for me:) jilly has some old hurt from her childhood that she couldn't let go, but she has to mend that part of her by herself, before she could truly start living her life. rather a weird book:)

i won't send you any sadistic msgs again because i'm not gonna be sadistic anymore.
how about lets go recess together this coming monday?

2007-03-15T06:37:00.000-07:00

oh i dont know too i dont know
sorry
what am i supposed to say now
i dont know
im just really confused
im not angry and im not depressed
im just sorta messed up everywhere
if i made you feel bad im sorry
you just
gave me and
many people that impression
i dont know
and i didnt know what the fuck i could do so i just did that post
well
and
i ve been having really weird dreams
two had you inside
the first one was:
my senior was wearing this weird bali outfit
she was holding a gong
and there were a lot of weird guys with the somewhat same outfit behind her
holding some kind of gong or knife or wdv
and they all stared like shit at me
and stared and stared and stared
and they all moved slowly
like uniformly,and like took one step at a time towards me
so i freaked
it was in school
so i screamed and i ran and ran and ran
and i bumped into jasmine
and i told her what was happening
then we ran to the toilet
and i saw adrian wong washing his face
and next to him was my that senior still in the bali clothes
and she was washing her face too
then adrian wong started telling me it was some sorta competition thingy
and he gave me this newspaper and highlighter
and told me to highlight all the sadistic phrases i could find
and you know what
the whole newspaper was full of your smses
all the i cut faith and irresistable wdv
and i started screaming
then i woke up really scared
the next one
which was ytds one
i was walking with you in school
and we were both very happy
and there was a lot of sunlight and all
then suddenly you disappeared
and i got really freaked again
then i woke up
ya
i dunno lah
very morbid
i think im paranoid or sth
im sad
i dunno
maybe we should just start over
and forget everything that happened so long ago
and be happy
i dunno
i miss you alots
im going to cry
i dunno why
sorry

2007-03-13T20:33:00.000-07:00

im itching all over cause i've got sorethroat or something. first of all, i do read the blogs, but i dont tag that is, cause i dont see the point and i cant think of anything to tag. secondly, i do not think or go "ooooooohhh its so cool to cut here and there and here and there and all overrrrrr" thirdly, i would not cut "jean sux" on myself cause i dont think you do and i would not bitch about you or py or jas or wtf. i know you're being a good friend and everything advising me against cutting. but like what i said on my blog, its hard to put yourself in another's shoe. you see me smiling like shit to you to her to them to everyone but does that mean i smile like that when i cut or is using that to show off cause seriously its nothing to show off about. i do not go flashing to irrelevant people who would gossip and bitch and yes, misunderstand. I WOULD NOT BITCH ABOUT YOU JEAN, OR PY OR JAS OR WHOEVER. and whats with the chunk about 'coooool! friends!' so i shouldn't make new friends at all, or talk to only those that you approve of? i write a lot on my blog recently because i cant seem to find anyone i could talk to anymore. everything i put down is real about me and i do not do or write wtf to gain popularity. blogging really gets this load off my mind you understand? and i dont talk to basically anyone about what im doing anymore. and fine, if you dont like it when i sms you about something that you dont want to hear about then fine. i know a lot of people know about my blog and i dont give a fuck, i like to write alot about wtf shit there is to be. classmates do not influence me to hate anybody, that is honest. chloe, how much do you know about the relationship between me and her? i was only like hi bye friends last year cause i knew her through py. i didnt know her well and yeah i thought she was really nice and everything, but this year when i get closer to her in the sense that i sit next to her, my opinion kind of gradually changes you know? try it jean, i would like to see you try. i mean, she is a nice person and everything but some things just really gets on your nerves and you got to keep her at a distance so you wont feel the impulse to jam something into her mouth to make her shutup. MY CLASSMATES DO NOT AFFECT ME AND I AM NOT MAD AT YOU ALTHOUGHT IM TYPING THIS IN CAPS. oh fuck and i do not hate py okay? no one said anything about py at all, i swear. i just do not know how to handle this friendship and im lazy so i prefer to keep it dangling there. sheesh, did you read the part about me starting to like mrs tian now? i think she's a pretty good teacher, and she's funny too. my blog is just a vent for my feelings so i do not have to care about what i would sound like or mean to other people. retain? i DO NOT want to be retain. jean, you know how i am okay? i do not try to get myself to fail any test okay? oh wait, maybe you dont know how i am after all. OMFUCK CAN I JUST BASH MY HEAD INTO THE FUCKING COM SO I CAN JUST BE SEND INTO ICU AND NOT CARE ABOUT THE FUCK THAT REVOLVES AROUND ME? sorry that was just to vent. oh jean i don't know how to cram everything into this so i'm gonna call you now. i dont know if anything could be done but...shucks i hate this.

2007-03-11T19:31:00.000-07:00

hahahah
aint this blog so dead

you dont tag anymore do you
what is happening to you
why must you do weird things to yourself
i mean
you can do whatever you want
but
dont have to tell me right
and when you tell me you smile like shit and tell me its really cool
EXCUSE ME
dont you remember how much it hurts my mum to see me cut
dont you remember how you stopped me doing that in that period of time
and now you re making it sound so good
what do you expect me to say
i didnt even give you my consent to accepting your situation of
'ooh,cutting is So coool
look i cut this here and here and here and im pretty satisfied!yaay!'

haha have yo any eq at all
so i go around and be nice and chummy with you
because i dont know what in the world to behave like
and i dont want to lose you
but
you re different kay
you re so
different
just because you have to .erm.move on?
make new friends?
yes people may misunderstand you
but how much do you misunderstand people?
and maybe you think im crapping all this shit up
and im just another goner friend to you
and i dont mean anything to you
everything is your those friends friends friends
and maybe you ll get those ohsocoool! friends to read this stupid post
and get mad at me and say all those fuck words and stuff and get so mad
or start cutting: 'jean sux' everywhere on your body
haha
have you evr thought
what scars you might ever leave behind?
and how much pain you have caused to certain people?
everything seems to be about yourself nowadays
you kinda hate your parents now right?
yeah
either your dad was senile
or your piano was old
but he didnt ask you
but you dont play your piano
so what if he did that?
you dont have to send some rubbish sms to me
spouting fuck and all
i wont do that if my dad does something like that to my piano
and hello
im more attached to mine than you to yours
and all the weird things you write on your blog
you re publicising everything
a lot of people know your blog alr you know?
and a lot of ppl tell me they think you re weird
and your studies
dont you give a hoot about that?
mrs tien gives a lot of hw
and
whoever other nasty teachers too.
but this is only the first term.
and you re not even doing your hw properly.
whose fault is that?
when im in a worse class than you and im completing almost all my hw on time
not boasting but
cant you see
youre ruining everything for yourself
this is only the first term
dont you rem all the teachers and everybody saying
that the terms following are much tougher than now?
and will grow even more so next year
if you plan to get past sec three,that is.
i dont know how good or bad your studies are
but in the long run
i dont know whether you and i and whoever else ll get retained
haha
theres a possibility though
and you know chloe?
how fucking long have you known her
before you made these new friends of yours
at least more than a year am i right?
and you know all her antics and good and bad points about her alr
you should know she always tries to use her talents to the fullest and tries to shine
you should know her very well alr
why do you choose NOW to show your displeasure and irritation?
and how did you fall out with py?
isit because of what your friend says?
hates her to the core so you cant be with her?
or isit because shes so horrid you cant stand her anymore
and
so
i dont know anymore
i wish youd change
i really do
i dont think you even read this blog anymore
do you even care about my feelings
maybe you do but
i dont know how you do that
i dont know if you ll scorn me after all this
i dont know if you ll ever write back or talk to me again
but the purpose of this post is to tell you about what is happening to you
you re so naive now to me
ive been through sth like that
so can you pull through too
or ruin yourself like you are now
i dont know
it aint jasmine or whoever asked me to write this shit
no
i just want you to wake up please
you of course go ahead being with your friends
but
well
at least
change your mind set?
do your hw?
plan for the future?
you can hate me if you want
its your body your mind your everything now aint it
but for your own sake
can you try and think
about what you really are
are you hiding behind a mask just to look popular
is this what you call true happiness all this while
how much have your new classmates have affected you
whether your mind and soul are truly sober
and whether you want to keep this blog going
which is the mark of our friendship?

i ll be pleasured to.
but only if you bother to.

-jean

2007-02-10T07:22:00.000-08:00

yesyes
we shall go out
with alicia
and and
well.
yeah
just kickboxing
yay!

iloveyoutoo
happy my chunk of text helped you
hahha

i just wish we were all back together again
just like when roses were red and violets were blue
and oh how we felt the breeze in our hair
and the sun on our cheeks
and our feet flying past

i just wish we could share with each other again
smiles on our faces
laughs ringing in our ears
how we would cry together
exchange naughty winks
discuss upcoming outings
but all these
like a shadow they have flitted away

is it so hard then
after the higher authorities have separated us
that we may not be once again like
sparrows chirping hello
and we must stick close to our new company
forgetting what once had been true
but has now dwindled to nothing
nothing
nothing
nothing
nothing

.
nothing?

love,jean<3

2007-02-06T23:38:00.000-08:00

oh jean thats really sweet and of course that helped:)

just that...i cant seem to change anything no matter how hard i try. almost everytime i get a little break, something comes hurdling at me again. i cant dodge reality. ah but i'll continue to try, try till i see the brighter side of life? hahaha thanks jean and everyone else who were there, for just being there. you dont have to say anything, but your presense is enough.

oh yaay! kickboxing? oh mann that sounds awesome:D set the day and i'll be there, nothing can stop me:) and yes i do think i need to go out, my social life is negative two hundred now, so is my wardrobe. if anyone wants to go shopping for clothes, feel free to call me along!

sometimes i feel like im all alone again, like no one's there, the same emptiness all over again. not the physical kind of 'being there'. but some kind if spiritual..thingy?

we should definitely hang out more:) the new year brings along some baggage from the past but also some rather pleasant changes.

last line: LETS GO OUT!

2007-02-05T03:51:00.000-08:00

well.
well
i dont know either
hahha
and
i wasnt really directing it at you la,
just.telling you what i think
i want to go out with you guys soon too.
pity i didnt go yesterday.
hope i didnt sound too selfish in the previous post though,
i hope you re fine
and im supposed to empathise with you
not like say what i said in the previous post
so
okay
i trust that you have stopped cutting
how bout
one day soon lets go kickboxing with alicia?
she said yes alr
!
so we can just box that sack of shit for two hours without stopping
and get all the sadness and irritation and depression out.
...
but i know depression makes you feel like you dont want to get it out of your system right
you just want to wallow in it and
and be sad
its kindof addictive
its like sian if you try to be happy.
which was what it was like for me too,
which was why i was in such a pitiful state for such a long time \:
thats why i think you might have to do sth
like exercise
to get it out
but
i know i probably dont sound like i understand,do i.
its actually all up to you,how you want to handle the situation,
whether you want to stay here and think about all the bad things
that are past already or are occurring at the moment
or concentrate on the good points and try to improve all that is around you
and yourself before that,duhh, .
and maybe you ve already gone and done all that but
its no use.
so
you ve just got to tell yourself
that you have to live with it.
live with the fact that whatever is disturbing you is there
you cant do anything about it
and that it is actually a part of your experience
in life
and some kind of obstacle at that,yes.
so try
try and take in your stride
or detour
think
and detour what has been blinding you for so long
even if you do not know what lies ahead
just go ahead
walk around it
like i did
and that was only once for me anyway
and i know that there will be more for me to come in the future
and for you as well
so brace up for the tough ride
(like we havent)
and shoot through
what you do is for yourself
(not selfishly of course)
as in
dont let people take advantage of you
because you are the only person who can control your movements and your thoughts
dont let someone else do it for you
follow yourself
dont let others affect you so much to this point in time
where you become an emotional wreck
dont become like my previous self
try and get over it
so yes
love you loads(:

this chunk of text may not do you any good,but well
read it and think yes.?

love,
<3
jean
keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground.
<3

2007-02-04T02:17:00.000-08:00

i dont know who your post was directed at but i have the feeling that its me. sorry i did that but i need to clarify, i did not do it to get attention.

what can i say? what can i say? im sorry, but apologising doesnt help. maybe you'll feel better if i tell you i stopped, i really did. check it yourself. even the scars have faded, somewhat. jean...i know its supremely weak. i know its pathetic, especially that i was against it in the first place. what can i say? irony.

i admitted, i was going through a rough patch earlier. mental problems? yeah i think i have them. like so numb nothing hurts anymore. nothing can take away the emptiness. all you want is just to feel, to feel anything, pain so be it. at least pain is a better replacement than nothing. you might understand, i need the pain, it keeps me alive, emotionally.

im sorry. and thats all i can say.

2007-02-03T22:53:00.000-08:00

i dont know what to say miss,
i havent really talked to you for a while hahhah
i dont care what choir is doing to me
as in i am not supposed to feel emotionally demoralised and all
sickening sometimes
aiyahh
actually
im not depressed anymore
i dont wanna cry for some fucking big but trivial shit problems
that half of cca arent freaking aware of
what kinda shit
so you re depressed?
well
i hope you ll be fine soon yes
can you please dont be with the person who gave jasmine that bump on her head please
i mean
nvm
ahhaa
im not in any position to order you arnd anyway
i dunno
but well
lets do it tgt
get through
i trust that you are not mutilating yourself?
because if you do you are disappointing me
because you were the one who told me noto to do it in the first place
who wrote letters to me
talked to me about it
and helped me through it
and now you have done it yourself
why did you have to be so
so influential
so easily impressed upon?
dont follow the crowd,miss.
follow your heart.

actually
why in the first place do people get so depressed
reasons:
1.they really have problems
2.they have mental problems
3.they like being depressed because they want people to notice them
4.they have low self esteem ie inferiority complex
which has thus led to mutilation and tears and other notions of that sort

you know
i think back of when i was the one who was doing it
and er
laugh?
because
it was so STUPID
i think i was seriously ruffled up at the time
what exactly
could have reduced me to such a pitiful emotional wreck
but

life i guess
its just another stepping stone in life.
like when we are young ,small,
we get angry a t the most trivial situations
and
we grow very slowly,at a constant pace.
but i think
as we grow older,
we learn more and more from experience
and every step we take is a bigger one
a more difficult one

so that is why
if you have a lot of experience alr
and you look at the problems your little sister has
and stuff
you should try to understand their dilemma
and help them
not laugh at them and brush away their cries for tiny stupid matters
they hurt like we do when we face a situation that daunts us
eeh
why am i typing all this
but anws

love,
<3
jean.

learn to stand up for yourself

2007-01-26T01:29:00.000-08:00

oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck. im so sorry my first post since forever have to start like this but im just so fucking pissed. LOSER! fucker. omg like you thought someone was like so great and she turns out to be a piece of shit? like major. i never thought i would hate her, maybe just neutral, but never hatred. loathing. disgust. to ppl reading this, im not directing this at someone you think i am directing at.

i stare at you with distain.

-xiaoyu

HELLOSHITSHELLO

2006-12-26T07:06:00.000-08:00

funnyquote:
"juss layk daa puttykatt tolschh rarnin' in daa nuudde"

hahaha
got that damn thing from an eminem ft akon songiee

oh and yes yes yes

im backk
and you obviously know that

(love you guys)

whee!
haha

and as for classes
mine is from ell to gee to gee

nicecombi

whoopee

thanks jasmine
for
whatever you have thus presented us unknowingly with

i thereby acknowledge your noble pains
and your undying love and friendship for us
your dear trusty comrades

thine comrades shalt then worshipp thou transparent goddess
and wish thee luck and joy to bring thou thus forward
anon then we shall meet
in naught five but four days

shinshearlee,
uorr teeurresht fwreinnees
noo
eii meeeaann
thhissht posht washt daann baaaii jeeeeaaaaann
baat aarnieeweeyyss,
uorr teeurresht fwreinnees
jjeeeeenn
exxwhyyy
nn
(pppeeewhyyyy?)
<3

2006-12-13T22:04:00.000-08:00

hahaha.
jean is finally back.
ah i saw the part about the movies on the plane.
gasp!
(clutches heart)
POTC!
tokyo drift!
the devil wears prada!
the illusionist!
although the leads in the illusionist are all not cute.
but then...
the show still rocks.
"i just want to be with her"
awww..
laadeedum.
ahahs.
tuesday me,fats and eunice went wild wild wet.
paisai pls.
we went to JURONG EAST.
jocelyn say she will never forget the look on the guy's face when she asked.
god.
um, my bad.
so we just took a hour long train ride to the other end of sg.
my bad.
ahwells.
got this grey one piece swimsuit at white sands.
hahaha.
jocelyn's look like a bikini!
gosh it was damn funny pls.
then we went on that U shape slide thing
omg damn freak can?
wah lao then jocelyn went up again with eunice.
faint.
you brave soul, you.
laadeedum.

shall go and post some testimonials for some darlings on friendster.
after all, im not seeing them next yr.
-fish

GOSH!

2006-12-12T18:35:00.000-08:00

gosh
im back!
back to singapore
from the -12 degrees snowy winter wonderland of hokkaido!
ooh
it snowed reaally heavily there
(lucky my face is fine)
hahhaa
i bought marimo!
(spherical-shaped moss found in the cold depths of lake akan)
(actually not depths,its somewhere near the surface,haa)
theyre really cute
two in one bottle
bought a musical box doll
its limegreen and purple and yellow and black
its really pretty
and theres a lovely tune and the head moves when you turn the musical knob
i love it!
we went to the kitsbe fox village
bought food for the foxes
you can feed em
OMG LA
theyre sooo damn adorable
you know,
like
the fur is so fluffy and thick and
and
it makes em look round
and theyre not long and slender
theyve got short legs and fat bodies
but that well
makes them look all the more cuter
and the fur is,well,
luxurious
both to the eye and to the touch
vvvvv cute!
and their eyes
are beautiful
turquoise,green,brown,pale blue,black...
so cute!
but the sad thing is,
because their fur is so luscious,
theyre killed for it.
and the fox farm breeds them specially for this purpose,
although they dont have to feed them because the tourists who visit them
(like me)
buy lotsa food to feed them and thats how they get the money..
sobs.
and there were the bears too
they kill people
mountain bears
grawrrrrr
big black ones
but cute too!
cos when we fed them cookies
they stood on their hindlegs and wiggled their fingers at us,
indicating that they desired more of the crunchy bear delicacy.
hee
i like chimness.
and their movements are really slow though.
hahaha
theyre kept in sunken cages on the mountainside
and next to them were some racoon cages
big raccoons
but really cute too
and we fed swans too
hahaha
at lake akan
and and
the snow there is knee-deep!
and after you stand in it,when you go to a warm place,
your jeans ll be all cold and wet
ahhahahahaaaa
and it was really really cold
but after two days everyone got used to it
like,seasoned?
really
we didnt feel so cold anymore
cos the first day in tokyo it was 6 degrees and we were freezing
but it was minus twelve degrees two days later and we were okay
okay
so yeah
and the japanese food there is terrific
so good that those in singapore literally have no standard at all
singapore jap food is mixed with a singaporean flavour
jap food is jap food
and delicious
yeah
i watched three movies on the planes
the devil wears prada,monster house and the illusionist
all rock
but the other flight which wasnt mine,
it had
step up,pirates of the carribean:dead mans chest,tokyo drift and edward
scissorhands!
shit la
but nvm
and anw
theres lots more stuff to talk abt
but im pretty busy unpacking stuff now so
yeah
gtg!
bb

2006-12-08T01:50:00.000-08:00

haha. me and fats went to the amk library today. went bonks in the toliet taking zi lian pictures of ourselves. ha. ahwells. then we talk about some not so nice stuff. hai. feel so bad. i mean. we are like bitching about people? ha. but seriously, who dont. damn. everyone in sn are like damn gossipy and bitchy. including me duh.

laaaaa.
i love sn and yet hate it.
so contradicting.
hai.
chloe send the letter to oh chuan chuan and she didnt reply.
that bitch.
screwed up fucked up bitch.
damn you.
ahhhs.
feel so much better after insulting her.
ha.

but nvm.
we shall write another letter to mrs goh.
she better reply.
damn.
its basic respect.
if you expect us to respect you.
then you must show us that you deserve it.
oh chuan chuan definitely dont.
ahhs.

laaaaaaa
feel so damn shitty.

-fish

2006-12-04T23:18:00.000-08:00

ha.
i feel weird.
feel...
ha.
nvm.
maybe shopping would cure me.
or maybe the beach.

i feel cold.
numb.
fearless.
not really.

ah yes i missed out one point.
makeup artist.
drama makeup
love drama.
ld.
ooooh or maybe painting on the bare body.
the body is an art.
hai.
i still cant get the proportion right.
drats.

i need a model.
but for the love of god.
of course no one would do it!
hai.

imagine.
if i ditch sn for northlight.
lovely.
but not quite possible.
maybe i should have flunked my psle 5 times in a row.
maybe.

laadeedum.

2006-12-04T23:01:00.000-08:00

hahaha.
hilarious.
ahh talking to jocelyn
or rather watch the two of them bicker is better than watching a movie.
maybe i should just leave them to it.

hahs.
white is a nice colour:)
white and black.
im starting to like red.
the colour of passion.
that sounds wrong.
ahh wells.

hmm hot pink is nice.
hahahha.
whats with me lately.
nvm.
ahhs i shall shop for a swimsuit with mom
and go to the beach!
i miss the beach.
ahh.

laadeedum.
im so crappy.
hahs.

2006-12-04T02:34:00.000-08:00

haaahaaa
okays.
yesyes
we shall fart on the letter
(nice and long)
and perhaps
lick the paper before writing on it
that ll make ms oh think
"ohmy,their paper quality is good,why dont we get the printing staff to purchase this brand as well..."
hahaha.
okay cute.
anws.
i talk to myself too
when i m either in a very good mood,
in a very bad mood
or just plain BORED.
hahaha
and
i hope chloe farted on the letter before she gave it to that woman
hahaha
oh i have many ambitions too
er er
fashion designer
cosmetics designer
hair stylist
makeover stylist
makeup artist
choral conductor
events emcee
cat specialist
cat breeder
comic artist
singer(like enya)
composer for rock pieces
open a wallet shop and grab 'the wallet shop's business
microbiologist
child psychologist
haha
and all of them have a very high chance of being my ideal career
haha
we think too much i think
hahahah
and
no you re not cold
by the way
are you still great friends with eunice?
<3

2006-12-04T02:28:00.000-08:00

ah i feel this urge to profess my love!
for my friends(HA.i know you are thinking dirrty)
deep breath..here i go!

jasmine.tomato.
py.py.
jocelyn.FATS.
eunice.E?
jean.cat.kat.
yanlin.eu.
jolene.ms gwee!
beatrice.beat.
FALALAs.
TWOGRACEOHSIX.
LD.
SN.
yinru.
hilary.
hongwei.
*i***.

yeah.
sry jolene.
you are WAYYY cuter
hotter
slimmer
sexier
smarter
chioer
wtf
wtf
than ms gwee.

xiaoyu.

2006-12-04T02:17:00.000-08:00

ah.
i adore you too jean(but not in the ahem les way).
ahh the beauty of it all.
i realise i've developed this weird habit of talking to myself.
and randomly.
how strange.
ah yes oh chuan chuan.
but chloe gave her a letter already.
oh nvm
we will write one more.
and we will fart on it before we give it to her.
so may our fart linger in her face.
hahhaha
thats cute.
my what?mycareer?
erm.
cough madly.
puke blood.
ah yes.
my career.
shall i give you a list?
artist.
designer.
psychologist.
social worker(k its weird but...)
open a wedding boutique.
event planner.
plastic surgeon.
forensic scientist.

ah i know i know.
some of it are totally unpractical.
and just simply...
dumb.
i faint when i see blood for the love of god.
but i just keep coming up with all this crap.
i get imfluenced very easily.
by the tv.
the drama.
they are evil.
beware.

laadeedum(quoted from py)
hai.
am i cold?
AM I?
maybe its just my imagination.
hmm this is one long crappy post.

2006-12-04T02:08:00.000-08:00

ahhahha!
i love xy!
okayokay
next time i ll recommend blogskins to you
wth
i have so many
and
come my house soon
like after my hokkaido trip yeah
after i get the photoshop
(i ll make sure i ll get a good one(:
and we can do anything we want with it!
yeah and the art stuff...
argh
stupid shit
yesyes
lets go write a letter to that art woman,mrs...
whatever her name is
but yeah
im not gonna give up
if theres no art just because our school doesnt really bother
and arts my life its the most probable life path im gonna take up
im not gonna give it all up
just because the school doesnt give a freaking damn
hahha
okays
i love choir anws
so
i mught just take up music too
i mean
ive got three instruments?
so yeah
so hey
fish
what's YOUR career gonna be?
winkies!*
hahhahhaa
lame but yeah tellme tellme!
<3
-cat

2006-12-04T01:43:00.000-08:00

crap i forgot to add my name to the posts.
ahwells.
the two before this are mine.

im fish.

2006-12-04T01:38:00.000-08:00

ah look im posting again:)
didnt realise something till now.
some of my juniors are goths.
hmmm...
ha.
that day i saw the who outside the school
she was wearing GL clothing.
cute.
damn.
i always forget their names.
ahwells.
gosh i love gothic.
goth rock to be precise.
or goth street?
goth punk?
wtf.
spotted this phrase from someone's blog
goths do not fear the other side.
cute.

2006-12-04T01:33:00.000-08:00

ah.
jean did a good job with our shared blog.
love the skin.
weird.
how come everyone manage to find the perfect skin but i always find some bullshit(you call that a skin?)
ahwells.
as what jean said.
no art next yr.
i suppose my brain hasnt fully comprehend the fact:THERE IS NO ART NEXT YEAR.
or rather refuse to accept.
screw the school.
screw them all.

thefirstpost<3

2006-11-30T04:14:00.000-08:00

hey!
it's me here on the first post!
hey fish
it's really really sad though
that there really really might be no art next year
ayyers
nvm!
okayokay
okay fish
love you lots!
<3
tag on the next one yaa
-jean